my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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