Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize