Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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