swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
