How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
