You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
