Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
