oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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