we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
