All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
