I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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