Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
