She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize