I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
