As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
