I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger