If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch