imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.