For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She needs sedatives and a leash
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
