I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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