btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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