I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
