3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
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You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
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You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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