Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
