if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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