So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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