She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
