Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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