Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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