I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She bit a glass in half.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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