You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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