ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
