two words...techno handjob
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
