Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
