why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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