Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
