I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
And my parents said I crawled through the house
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
