been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
