She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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