My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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