Cold hands, warm shart.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.