Your tits are I can't wait for
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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