Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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