you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize