What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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