I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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