My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can't turn off my feet"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize