It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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