How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
