I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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