i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
