im gay
i know
yea but for you.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
