Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
