...so i touched it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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